Retirement Can Test
Your Sense of Identity
I honestly never liked my job. I was well rewarded during my forty-plus years as a “prisoner” of Corporate America, and I had a position of great responsibility overseeing three departments. But I never thought of myself as anything but a husband and father who was trying his best to provide for his family. Whatever titles they gave me were part of my business card and that was it. I saw firsthand, however, how some people were consumed by their job, title, office and all the perks that came with it. That was how they thought of themselves. They lived to work and be a part of the Executive Team that got to fly first class and make the big bonuses at the end of the year. Many of them were delaying retirement as long as they could because they couldn’t see themselves as being happy doing anything but work. It’s true that retirement can test your sense of identity and, if you are nothing but your job and what you do at work, the transition to a post-working world can be difficult. Even back when I was working, I was giving advice about how to have a happy and fulfilling retirement. I am practicing what I preached so I know my advice was right on the money. I’ve gotten e-mails from my colleagues about how right I was, and they thank me for taking the time to share what I have learned. Life is a journey. It is meant to be enjoyed but instructive at the same time. The world provides clues for us to learn from but too often we are to busy to take the time and learn from what we experience. My decision to listen to some self-improvement experts was a life-changing one and it was that learning that I passed on to everyone who would listen. Fortunately, I had not only decided to read these books but also to put what I learned into practice and change the trajectory of my life.
If you loved your job, retirement can test your sense of identity because of all of the free time.
Retirement can test your sense of identity if you think of yourself only in connection with what you did for a living. As much as you might enjoy your job, that is not who you are. You need to step back and figure out what it is that gives you enjoyment and find a way to replace it in retirement because, for most people, your job is going away, and you need to fill that time. For those who never enjoyed their career, the problem is a little bit different. They need to discover something that will give them the sense of fulfillment that was lacking in their working days. Everyone has an inner being that needs to be satisfied, and the challenge is to discover it during this journey we call Life. Some might call it your mission, and I happen to think that everybody has a calling or desire that needs to be filled. There are clues all around us but it takes some time of careful self-analysis to determine what are the things that make you happy and to replicate that feeling as much as possible. When I related this to some people in the past, they seemed to be at a loss for how to even start to discover these things so, with that in mind, I created something I call The Self Discovery Challenge for Retirement. The best thing about the process is that it can be a lot of fun and it will cost you nothing but your time. The more time you put into it the better your results will be but, if you’re struggling to fill your days with activities that will excite you and keep you engaged with life, you may find this exercise very worthwhile.
The amazing part of all of this is how important your hobbies can be. They can tell a lot about a person, and I think the key to being a happy retired person can be found in the quality of the activities they do during the time that they used to spend working. Does that sound crazy? It might be because your definition of a hobby isn’t as broad as mine is. Volunteering, for example, can be a great hobby and there is nothing more fulfilling than sharing your expertise in an activity that helps a person or organization and puts a smile on your face because you know you made a difference in someone’s life. Retirement can test your sense of identity, but the right hobby can fill your life in a way that can’t be explained. And I fully understand that golf can be an obsession for some people but, even here, it has to have a sense of purpose. There has to be a goal to achieve and a sense of accomplishment. That’s what a good hobby does. It provides a challenge and a reason for being and if your particular hobby provides that, you are going to have a greater appreciation for life. If you were meant to be a painter, sculptor, writer or woodworker then that’s what you were meant to be. Embrace and explore it fully. You were not your job. There’s an inner person that exists in every one of us. We just need to find that person and nurture them through activities that are fulfilling.
I know a person who owned and built a fairly large company and his big enjoyment was the fact that he had built such a successful brand and provided employment for so many people. It was time to sell the company or let the next generation take over. He was going to sail around the world after he restored an old tugboat that he had purchased and he thought would take a few years. He wondered about what came next and I suggested that he consider writing his story down because it would make such an interesting and inspiring story. I told him to put the advice he followed during his business success down on paper and intersperse it with his boat restoration and world travel adventures to demonstrate what a full life can look like. I have no idea if he will ever do it, but the idea got him excited and that’s what counts. Your hobby doesn’t have to please anyone but you and, if it gets you excited, that’s all that counts. There is no doubt that retirement can test your sense of identity but the more time we take to know ourselves, the better prepared we will be to make the most out of retirement. Some people have told me that it’s a little self-centered to spend so much time thinking about what makes us happy, but nothing could be further from the truth. No one likes to be around an unhappy person so, at a minimum, by improving your own outlook on life you’re making the world a better place. But the chances are that when you find out what makes you happy, you’re in a better position to make others happy. Strangely enough, when you truly master a hobby, you have learned the same principles needed to master this journey we call Life. By sharing that knowledge with others, you can definitely start making this world a better place one person at a time. Go out and give it a try. It’s time to Enjoy Retired Life!
Thanks for visiting. If you like what you see here, please tell your friends. If you haven’t done so already, be sure you take The Self Discovery Challenge for Retirement! It’s designed to help you make the most of this wonderful time of your life. You’re never too old to discover something new about yourself!
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