Losing A Friend In Retirement

I was recently told that someone I had worked with for over twenty years had died after a brief illness.  This is not the first friend my wife and I have lost and it’s never easy.  Losing a friend in retirement can be devastating, especially if they were still a part of your life.  After you retire, you lose track of many of the people you worked with every day but the ones who you were friendly with usually stay in touch.  Even if you speak to them only a couple of times a year, it doesn’t take long to re-kindle those friendships and talk about the old times.

It's even harder sometimes when you create a new circle of friends after you retire and someone in that group passes away.  It brings our mortality home in a very big way.  Losing a friend in retirement reminds us all that nothing about this world is permanent and none of us know how much time we have left. The best thing we can do is be grateful for the life that we have and become determined to live our life to the fullest.  Sometimes I feel like we owe that to the people who were not lucky enough to reach this wonderful period in their lives.

As I continue to age into my seventies, I can’t help but think that, if this were a football game, I would be entering the final quarter.  That may sound silly to some, but I think there is some merit to keeping that sports analogy in mind.  As a game progresses each team becomes more focused, and every play is important.  I think this has great application for how we look at retirement.  We should become determined to make each of our remaining days count.  They are a gift, and they can be taken away at any time.  Losing a friend of retirement makes that realization even more profound.  We’re all here for a reason and the way we choose to live our life tells the world what that reason is.

Losing a friend in retirement can get us to look at our lives differently.

I think every person should try to make the world a better place.  For those of us who have retired, by the mere fact that we have gotten to this age, means we have learned some things that we should pass on to those who might be willing to listen.  Some of the words of wisdom of my parents and older co-workers now have a deeper meaning for me.  I realize that I may not have fully understood what they meant when they gave me their nuggets of advice.  One very nice person I had the pleasure of working with always told me to “save your money” and never spend more than you can afford.  Of course, we all know this but the fact that it was one of the first things he said when he saw me each morning gave me an indication of important it was for him.  My father also gave me that same advice but not as often as this older gentleman who recently passed away leaving his children a small fortune.  He practiced what he preached.  Losing a friend in retirement, especially one whom we admired, brings a sense of sadness but it should also be paired with the appreciation for that friendship and how they lived their lives.

I looked forward to retirement from my first day of work and was always determined to make the most of this time in my life.  I started this website to share my thoughts and, hopefully, give my readers food for thought as they try to figure out this gift that we have been lucky enough to share called retirement.  I hope everyone takes the time to share a little bit of themselves with the people around us because I think that’s why we’re all here.  Keep a journal, write a book or start a website.  Find a way to keep part of you alive after you leave this world.  People at this age have a lot to share.  Look at all the events we’ve lived through, and you realize how unique your perspective is compared to the people forty or fifty years younger than you.  Did you know that historians value memoirs and memories of ordinary people like you and me.  Collectively they provide an insight into how the events of the world shaped people in different places and different times.  Civil War diaries have provided tremendous insight into how the war was actually fought and what the experience and thought process of the typical soldier actually was.  Diaries of holocaust survivors provide chilling details about that horrific time that we might not otherwise know.  Why not make an effort to capture those memories and put them down on paper now?  None of know how much time we have left.  Losing a friend in retirement can be a brutal way to remind us of that fact.  But it can also remind us that we have a lot to live for.  There are places to see and things to do.  Every day is a day to Enjoy Retired Life!

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