Retirement Reveals Who We Are
Retirement is probably one of the biggest milestones in anyone’s life. There’s no other event that you prepared so long for and, if you’re like me, anticipated in such a big way. Why do so many people downplay this “finish line” that we cross heralding a new and more relaxing way of life. For many, it’s because they don’t like to attract attention to themselves and I applaud their sense of humility. I think the world needs more of that. But, as a student of retirement (I just made that up but I think it applies), I think retirement reveals who we are and, for some, they’re not quite sure what their post-working personality is going to be. Many people identified themselves with their job and what they did for a living. That’s understandable since we spent so much time “doing” that job. But, as a great mentor of mine wrote, we’re not human “doings”, we’re human beings and the person doing whatever job they had matters more than the job itself. I spent over forty years as a part of Corporate America working with men and women who were their jobs and very little else. I watched with a little bit of sadness as they struggled to hold a conversation about anything other than work or spoke about broken marriages caused by their over dedication to their jobs. Very few of them ever said it was worth it.
Retirement reveals who we are and, for some people, that comes as a complete surprise.
I am the first to say that I understand the dedication to a profession. Most people thought that I lived and breathed my job description. Nothing could be further from the truth, and I spent most of my time on conference calls with my mute button on because I didn’t want anyone to hear an involuntary sigh or groan when my fellow managers lied about the impact of an issue or the lack of progress on a project. Most of the time I was distracted by something else that was more interesting than status reports. I had travel brochures to look at or looking for the next book I was going to get from the library. I had visions of my life after I stopped working and I couldn’t wait. Retirement reveals who we are and I put into action all of those plans that I fantasized over during my endless meetings that literally would have bored me to tears if I couldn’t “escape” even for a few seconds with a picture of a river cruise or the ancient ruins of Greece.
Sadly, for those who immersed themselves in their job and nothing else, it is not uncommon to wake up on your first day of retirement with nothing to do and a serious contemplation of going back to work at a job with “less pressure”. Retirement reveals who we are and if you were solely committed to your job and failed to develop outside interests, that is a natural outcome for you. But I’m here to tell you that there’s a much better way and this website was started to help you explore those options and become the person you were before your job took over your identity. As much as you might have believed it while you were working, no one is their job. Even our doctor, who lived and breathed medicine with no intention of retiring, had an inner self that needed to get out. He is in the process of going to every stadium in the country and seeing a game because he realized how much a part of being and source of enjoyment was in baseball. Every statistic imaginable is fair game for his consumption and the Bill James Historical Abstract may be what he turns to when he’s stressed rather than the Bible. He is a person who loved what he did for a living, gave away more than ten years of study to reach his dream, loves what he’s doing and will keep practicing until he dies but he was able to nurture his inner being that everyone has. And, by the way, on occasion he does stand-up comedy as another way to feed his fantasies from youth.
Those fantasies from youth are something we all have. No one gets to retirement age without casting aside a hobby or pastime that they really enjoyed, and retirement is a time to re-connect to those activities. It may sound a bit trivial, but I happen to think it’s one of the most important things you can do as you face your post-working days with a calendar is emptier than ever. Remember all the time you spent at the job? Now you have to fill it. The quality of your retirement will depend on wisely you make that decision. Take The Self Discovery for Retirement and ponder what it reveals about you and then act accordingly. If nothing pops out, keep working at it and consider giving some of your time as a volunteer at a hospital, church or other organization. Giving of yourself can be one of the most fulfilling actions you can ever take. Do you have a hobby in mind? My only caution is to choose it carefully because a good hobby should be challenging and automatically instill the desire to get better at whatever activity you choose. Do you want to travel more? That’s a great idea but, even in this area, make sure your journeys have a purpose. Don’t do it to just check a box on your bucket list. Do a little research about the area and the people. Hire a professional guide to learn about the history, geography, economy and, most of all, the people and how they live. Learning new things in retirement and every day will provide a challenge that will lead to a more exciting life.
Now, I know there are people who will say that this all sounds wonderful, but the money is just not there to do all those things. I understand that and I do not for one minute underestimate how frustrating that can be. But I also know there are things that can be done. A good retirement budget and cost cutting measures may free up more money than you think. Downsizing and even a reverse mortgage is something you might want to consider but I would do that only after consulting with an unbiased financial professional. And never overlook the possibility of a job or, even better, a small retirement business that can do two things. It can become a learning experience and the best hobby you may ever have and give you the opportunity to make some money doing what you want to do. Keep your options open. I never thought I would start a website in retirement but, after trying it out, I became an internet entrepreneur. I’m not alone. Many retirees are doing quite well travelling down this path and the results speak for themselves. Retirement reveals who we are and, if you want to have the retirement of your dreams, you have to discover what those dreams are and go out and make them a reality. It’s time to Enjoy Retired Life!
Thanks for visiting. If you like what you see here, please tell your friends. If you haven’t done so already, be sure you take The Self Discovery Challenge for Retirement! It’s designed to help you make the most of this wonderful time of your life. You’re never too old to discover something new about yourself!
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